nullity and retention

possession; to retain the person, the object, the image that elicits your happiness. not wanting to have happiness but to be happy; to identify with that which is possessed. the violence of emotion, their seeming tenderness and safety, they are self-sustaining, self-perpetuating, creating vacuums for other emotive states to push you around. seeking favorable situations and personalities that might raise the corners of your mouth, the peptides in your head; create favorable memories whose future absence will soon haunt you. it is never enough to know, one must possess meaning, purpose, or fulfillment; awareness-of only permits you to believe that it is other than that which you are, if somehow possession equated absorption, assimilation; a fulfilment of being; you would be what you seek. this is the cupidity of identity.

one is not smart, one acts as if he possesses smartness; one is not humorous but exhibits characteristics of humor. striving to be the descriptions you seek to accumulate, empty vessels who pantomime the reality they have constructed in order to reaffirm its image. you want to be something, to be someone, which only serves to prove that you aren't anything; you're a non-thing, the absence of what you seek to be; the only thing you are is continually trying to construct a representation of your desire to be noticed, to be recognized and validated; there is nothing there but your desire and misguided effort; an emptines;, a nothingness. your identity exists as an abstract, an illusion; you simply exist.