silent mantle,
dusted picture frames,
rust-colored wall paper
above crusted window panes,
hardwood fades into muted browns and grays,
unlit candles grace the living room
above the forgotten fire place.
outside new snow proceeds,
falls, and collects on old objects,
slowly a new winter bleeds
over places we used to live,
we have forgotten, and gone,
we have moved, and moving on,
this to prove
everything we must make true,
but at what cost, once
we've forgotten our bedrooms.
summer is only slightly missed, in moments of weakness
overcome by memories
of a december tryst.
even so, i see the familiar cove,
the bulrush and the heather stalks,
sun-kissed, the tiger lily spots,
and the fir boughs shadows
stretching across the vacant docks.
i am here. but i hear
face-down, the spectral sound, pleading
of listless waters begging,
entreating, but for what,
for snow? no, for meaning,
for something more than the cycle-seasons
lack of real death, lack of reason,
the water wants out
and all i want is to stay,
but for us, nature provides no such treason.
i remember everything that is,
that was, for all that is, to me
only exists as a memory,
and i cannot fathom how elusive
this thought is, and the profundity
that no one seems to believe.
i can see the snow, and i,
i can feel the ghosts
but i am not afraid,
i just don't want to run away.
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8 comments:
i was never asking you to explain who you are... if I wanted to know who you are I'd marry you. i was just observing... like when you say things like "...you aren't missing much, jerry preaches a 4th grade sermon" that sounds bored to me. you sound completely uninterested in the world around you. i sat around spokane for 5 weeks doing what you do... sleeping in, reading books, watching movies, sitting at starbucks yadda yadda yadda and i thought i was going to explode with boredom by the time i got out i was so glad to be back in the realm of academia... of intellectualism. I'm just sayin'
what makes you think any wife of mine would get to know me? she would have to learn how to entertain herself for long periods of time. the sermons are as such, and not to the fault of jerry so much as the people, but it's the opportunity to teach that i enjoy. if you were bored here then it's good for you to be back at school, i was more bored at school, i stoped reading my textbooks and read what i wanted to after a few years of college. it's been my experience that there isn't anything a professor can teach me that i can't read in some book. if it is intellectualism you want, all you need is to find some smart people regardless of location, of course college can usely fit that description because it's full of young people, who, as dostoyevsky said, like to sit around and talk about the meaning of life and everthing else under the sun. i'm not bored because i'm not looking to be entertained, i want to learn so many things, i could easily live in the woods and forget the mass of men leading their lives of quiet desperation, maybe some day.
i have no words for you because we'd be talking in circles. you make me laugh.
and you say wife like you're going to marry a woman.
and i hope you have a anotated bibliography for that last coment of yours
the dostoyevsky quote was from a conversation between alyosha and ivan in the brothers karamozov, and the other quote was from the first chapter of thoreau's book.
do you know of any history of the world books? fairly unbiased and accurate accounts of stuff... oh and thanks for the bibliography...smartass.
the comprehensive book i have read on world history was 'the new penguin history of the world' by j. m. roberts, and it was, if i remember correctly, a fairly good book. it was long and it was biased in that it focused mainly on western history, but even at twelve hundred pages it can't cover everything. i suppose if it's possible it's always better to narrow your time frame unless you need a book about all of world history.
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