introductions

i believe in a god, but freud says it's not because there is a god, or because i have any valid reason to hold such a belief, but it is actually my personal projection of my father, due to the fact that i secretly want to kill my father and be my father, this going back to darwin's theory that a group of brothers killed their horde leader, father, in order to end his dominance over their lives and that they might procure for themselves a piece of that action. of course they felt guilty and, through a long process of mourning and ritualizing, they deified their dad, which eventually evolved into the religions of today. so we, freud and myself, differ as to the origins and underlying causes for my belief, but i did not get on here to talk about god, but i am, because the actual reason as to why i am here escapes me at present.

from the limited amount of other blogs i have read, the theme seems to be the individuality of each person and how they express themselves through words; their thoughts, this is the medium which allows them to reflect on their own individuality and share parts of their person that are not naturally or easily manifested in everyday life. is that what i am doing? maybe. hardly do i ever know exactly what it is i am doing, i only know afterwards that it has been done, and so, here is, or has the potential to become, my outlet. i like my secrets and i covet my own thoughts and experiences, my feelings are my own, they seem less than genuine if they are shared and analyzed or understood by others, but explosions are the alternative. so what is next, i hardly ever know.